So we still have ants...but I'm going to blame the weather for that. I'm willing to deal with three or four here and there and I'm just thankful that for the time being there isn't a huge trail of them anywhere in the apartment. Yet. We have both been extremely poor since the move in because there are so many things we needed to buy to improve our living space. It makes me feel completely useless because I get paid about 1/3 of what Ian does, if that, and if I received more money or had a salary based job like him, I just think our lives would be easier financially.
For a while I was in a really deep funk. I felt like I had nobody to turn to and hadn't seen my friends as often as I would've liked. There are some friends that I haven't seen since I moved out and the only thing I can do is just tell myself not to think about that.
Work occupies a lot of my time and energy. By the end of practically every work day, I have no energy for anything. I'm really starting to hate my job and I think that after Ian and I go to California in June, I will actively search for a new place of employment. I love working with people - I currently work in the retail business as a sales associate at a pet store (we don't sell animals; just treats, accessories, food, things like that). I do not however love getting talked down to. I also don't like going home crying or upset every other day.
Ian says he's there for me but I still have that feeling of emptiness. I feel like I'm alone because he may be there but sometimes you need more from people. You need someone to comfort you and hold you and tell you it's going to be okay even if the problem isn't automatically going to get solved. I feel like our relationship is falling apart because of the move in and he isn't doing anything to really work towards "us."
My friend is coming into town tomorrow and I'm excited to spend some time with him.
