I always feel like it's this never ending struggle to get Ian to talk to me like a normal person. I see him do it with his mom and I even see him do it with other people. I don't know what's happened to our relationship but over time it's like he's been afraid to be more open with me, afraid that if he disagrees with me or tells me "no we can't afford to do that" or "this is what I want to do but we'll see if there's time for what you want to do" that I will flip out or something. But I never have a problem with being open with him and telling him "I think we should do this" or "I like this"

I love being with him but there isn't anything that I can do about this and I've been struggling with it for a long time. I want to stay in this relationship but at the same time, it's hard to call it a relationship when he doesn't talk to me and doesn't feel it necessary to be open with me. I don't understand it and it makes me feel like a monster.