I am leaving in May.
I started out as a reporter in 2005, two months later the Editor in Chief (who wasn't a very good one at that) asked me if I wanted to be Arts and Entertainment Editor. I took the job and took over in January 2006.
It was really rough for me. I didn't know what I was doing, I was constantly screwing up, crying, yelling, whining. I had no guidance or help from my editor and frankly, she had no help or guidance to offer.
I was determined to outlast her. I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to quit and that I wasn't going to allow some woman to continuously bully me. I made it to May and went through a whole other stack of problems during the following semester.
What suck was that the person who became editor was a friend of mine and I found it difficult to really take her as serious as I should have and I struggled to follow the rules - that I will take responsibility for.
I can only hope that the things I did or in this case, didn't do, hasn't affected our friendship or the way she sees me.
I stepped down in January 2007 and went back to being a reporter. In March of '07, I decided that I really missed being an editor.
I applied for managing editor, got the job and one month later my father died.
I really dove into my work as managing editor, more often than not I was over-bearing, controlling, mean and brutally honest. And yet, there were days when I cried and cried because I missed my dad so much.
I realize now that I was going through a very deep depression and I used the newspaper as a crutch but I know that if I didn't have the paper, I would not be who I am today. I can honestly say that my father's death helped me grow up even more and shaped me into a better person. Some might not agree but we're all critics nowadays it seems.
After a year of being managing editor, my editor in chief approached me about taking over for him.
I accepted. 2 other people ran against me but I knew with full confidence that I was best for the job.
2008-09 was the hardest school year for me yet. Not only was I taking a number of classes but I was also running the newspaper and had a job that required me to be there 30 hours a week.
I had every intention of coming back as Editor in chief for another FULL school year, which no one in the history of the newspaper had ever done, but after I met Ian I made the life changing decision to step down and force Juan into the job.
I can never thank him enough for taking over for me, this is why I don't walk out on the newspaper staff and why I help as often as I can - because I know that if I hadn't stepped down, Ian wouldn't even be a part of my life and even though we have our ups and downs, Ian really has been my knight in shining armor. Before him, I had a long history of mean, dishonest and abusive boyfriends and so far, after nearly 8 short months, he hasn't shown any of those qualities.
But it's finally time for me to pack up my junk and leave. Juan will be by my side but it's gonna be hard for us to leave. We've both been on the paper for so many years and we have been through so much and seen so much crap go down.
I might cry.
Or throw a party.
Or both.
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