Thursday, October 28, 2010

Nemo

I have a dog named Nemo.
He's six or seven years old...so he's relatively young.
My aunt almost hit him with her car when he was a puppy - his previous owners threw him out in the middle of winter. My dad felt really bad for Nemo because nobody wanted him, we had just lost a dog so he convinced my mom to take him.
Over the course of a few short years, my father and I took to him very well.
Then my dad died.
And I babied Nemo, paid more attention to him than my mom, played with him, etc.
A couple days ago, Nemo injured himself. We don't know how or when but it was very sudden. He couldn't walk.
My mom took him to the vet and the woman told her that he either just has inflammation and hurt himself and is sore OR he ruptured a disc in his back.
There is a surgery that fixes it and it's over $3,000 - money that my mom probably has but doesn't want to spend on an animal. She says she doesn't have it but I don't believe her. Seeing as how my dad left her money when he died and she gets money from her social security benefits.
The vet also told my mother that the cortisone shot she gave him has a 50% chance of working and that over the next few days, he'll either get better or worse.
It's hard to tell which direction Nemo is moving into since he's the biggest baby ever and let me also state that Nemo has never been sick or hurt so I don't know if the pain is as bad as it seems when he squeals like a pig every time he turns himself the wrong way. I do know that every time I have to hear him cry, I start crying as well and I can't stop. I'm crying right now.
I love my dogs and my cat and I've always loved the pets we've had. I've seen a lot of animals get put down but this dumb dog has really won my heart over. It has more to do with the fact that my father fought to get him into this house and he stayed up late with him while he whined and cried, adjusting to his new home. Nemo is the last piece of my father that I have left. When my dad died, Nemo howled for days on end and lost a lot of his energy. He got it back eventually but both of our dogs were affected by the death of my father.

My mother is giving Nemo until Friday...which I think is not enough time. She says that if he isn't better by Friday, she's taking him to the vet and getting him euthanized. I STRONGLY disagree with this idea because...I DON'T THINK THAT THREE DAYS IS LONG ENOUGH RECOVERY TIME. Yesterday night, I could tell she just wanted to throw the towel in and put him down but since we do not know what's wrong with him....what if we were to make a horrible mistake? What if we put him down and all it is is a sore neck?
I told Juan that if I had a credit card, I would take him to the emergency vet myself, put myself into debt and pay for his surgery if that's what he needed.
My compassion for animals has definitely kicked in since I started working at a holistic pet store but in general, I have always had a passion and love for dogs and cats.
I think what also is making me a wreck is the fact that I have no support here. Ian is not here. Yet Juan drove over to my house and rearranged his sleeping schedule to come and listen to me cry and even cried himself (sorry Juan) because of Nemo's condition. I am so tired of telling the person I love what to do, how to do it, when to do it all of the time.
Sometimes...you just need to be there. Without the other person asking.
I don't feel cared about or loved. I feel neglected and I'm losing trust in him because he isn't here for me. So while I cry about my dog possibly being put to sleep by the end of this week, I also cry for my relationship and the constant struggle of him not knowing what's right or wrong. And instead of trying to do...SOMETHING, he does nothing. And it hurts me so much because every time it happens, I feel less and less like he cares for me. But it just doesn't seem to make a difference to him.
I just want my dog to get better. I swear to God that if he gets better, I will take much better care of him. I will buy him probiotics, supplements, $60 dog food, whatever I have to do to keep him living longer. I just want him to get past this and I want my mom to have more patience in his condition. She's not a shrew. She loves Nemo just as much as I do but it's hard for her to see him in pain and her automatic response is "let's put him to sleep" because she thinks it'll solve all of the problems. The fact is, if he's put to sleep, I will have a big problem. It's not time for him to go yet and I wish she'd look at it that way instead of seeing it as him being in pain.
He doesn't have any health issues and it would be different if he was a much older dog...but he's still young enough to pull through and he has something to fight for.
A family.

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