I seldom feel this way but I miss my old friend.
I miss getting mad at him for leaving me by myself while he socialized with boys at clubs.
I miss sleeping over on his uncomfortable twin mattress on the floor and hearing him fart loudly periodically throughout the night.
I miss tackling him in his bed and having a tickle fight.
I just miss him. Period.
I keep telling myself that as soon as I move out, it'll all be alright but the closer we get to moving, the more I have to wonder if that's really true.
Our friendship has definitely taken a toll because of my relationship. And I regret it. Instead of spending my days off with Ian or at school helping Juan and the kids with the paper, I should have just been with Miguel.
I guess what hurts me is that he will always be my best friend in my book but I know I'm no longer his best friend. I've been replaced.
Alas, I'm sitting in bed crying because I feel so awful about this whole situation. He just doesn't care anymore and I care too much. When he wanted to spend time with me, I didn't make the time. I totally took him for granted.
I just wish we could see each other more and be close like we used to. I'm thankful for the close friendships I do still have but it's hard because Miguel and I were so close for so many years and now, just NOW, I'm starting to realize how far we've grown apart from one another.
I'm gonna try and do better but at this point I just feel like it's all a lost cause.
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