Since Father's Day is around the corner, I've been thinking about my father for a bit today. The anniversary of his passing and Father's Day are always the hardest days to get through. I usually end up crying on both occasions, especially because some of my cousins will often get up and dance with their dads during the Father's Day picnic we hold every year.

This time things are a bit different because my mom has a boyfriend. Out of all of the men I've seen her with, she's held onto this one the longest. They've only been together for 6 months but they spend a lot of time together and have discussed getting married at some point and he'll be moving into the house in August or September. He'll never be able to replace my father - no one will but he's a good person and he takes care of her.

Whenever I think about my dad, I think more about what he isn't here for and what we'll never get to do together. I know that my parents had a lot of the same issues Ian and I have - my mom always wanted them to communicate more and my dad just didn't put in enough effort. She complained about never getting flowers on regular days - I do the exact same thing. She would pick fights with him about things that had been building up for days, weeks and months - I do that as well. And even though my mom knew my dad found other women attractive, he never EVER cheated on her. He always came back home to her. I think these are all things that most couples face in their relationships and sometimes, the relationship just isn't strong enough to overcome certain issues.

I worry that because Ian and I are so young and still have many years ahead of us if we want to remain a couple, we should focus on the problem areas now. Instead, I constantly feel like a dog trying to jump over a big, brick wall - It just doesn't happen. I remember how things used to be with us in the beginning and I know that there's a saying that at the end, you constantly think about the beginning and lately, that's all I've been doing. I remember how Ian constantly wanting to talk about things drove me nuts. I didn't understand it and I didn't find it necessary. And now I'm the one who always wants to talk about things and he doesn't even try anymore. So when do we face the fact that we do not communicate and therefore, there's nothing left for us to build on?