1. Spent more time at the paper than I did at the hospital with my father. Even though he wasn't dying yet, now that I look back, that time was very precious...He was still around and he was still healthy compared to the condition he was in when he died. I should have just said "fuck it" and went to the hospital to be with him.
2. Never let the most insignificant people get the best of me or get under my skin.
3. Left Nemo with my mom that Friday. I still feel responsible for his death and it's because I never got to say good bye and I can't help but wonder if he was lying on that cold metal table thinking that I didn't love him enough to be there.
4. Cried in front of my boss last week.
5. Told people I was only taking the fall semester off. I should have said "I'm taking time off. Indefinitely. I need to save money. That's my explanation. No more questions." I've decided to also take the spring semester off since it's been damn near impossible to save for school so I think that since moving with Ian is getting closer, I will be A LOT more motivated and disciplined to save money for a place. After we are settled in, I will save for school. And I will use moving and school as my motivation to work my ass off at my job. Always try my best from now on.
6. Allow my mother to keep me from going to a good college. Since I was stupid and went to a bad high school, I didn't know about full scholarships or loans that I could take out. At the time, I didn't qualify for financial aid because my mom made too much money and that's all I knew of. I didn't know that people would pay for my entire education no questions asked. I wish I knew then what I know now.
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