When we feel that someone has done us wrong, there's always a place you flee to.

For me, that place ended up being the last spot in the world I ever thought I'd go back to.

I'm at my mom's house and plan on staying the night here.

I immediately thought of calling Lluvia and Juan to come and rescue me or calm me down. Juan picked me up from the apartment and now I'm sitting in my mom's kitchen where I spent so many other nights, typing away at the computer.

I'm alone. My mom and Julio are outside watching the block party with the dogs.

I guess that's what I need right now though, to just be alone with my thoughts.

I have a decision to make.

My mom told me that Ian has to make himself grow up and learn from his own mistakes and that I can't make him change or make him take people out of his life who don't want us together but that he should be able to make that decision on his own.

I just feel as though the past two years, Ian has been my top priority, everything to me and for the two years, he has just had me there on the sidelines.

I guess I just wish I knew how much I meant to him because I'm tired of sitting in the dark, waiting.