marriage

I've spent my morning thinking about how we are still not engaged, not married, not planning for anything like that.

I really, truly believe that Ian doesn't even want to be married to me anymore. There isn't anything that I can do about it. That's why it's so frustrating.

To be honest, I'm worried that we will have been dating for so long that we won't want to be married to each other. I worry that one day I'll ask myself - "why would I want to spend the rest of my life with him? We've been together so long...what's the point of getting married?"

I'm tired of settling. I feel as though that's all I've been doing almost ever since the beginning of our relationship. All I do is accept "this is as much as Ian can give right now." And I've just kind of grown very tired of it.

I've spent my entire life around people who didn't care about what I truly wanted. I guess that's how I'll continue living out my days.

Absolute bullshit...