my dog died

About a year ago, my dog Nemo had to be put to sleep. This morning my mom had to put our other dog Teddy to sleep as well. It was devastating. The poor little dog had struggled his entire life. He had epilepsy, was taking all of these medications. The most recent problem was an enlarged heart and that finally damaged his liver irreparably. The vet told my mom that even though he was active and playful, that he could crash at any time. Yesterday Juan, Ian and I went to my mom's house and Teddy was right there to greet us as the door. He seemed fine but my mom kept telling me what the vet said. I guess it's better that my last memory of him is how to the very end he remained obedient and walked me to the door and shook his butt towards me like he always did. It's better that I do not have the same memory I do of Nemo - barely being able to walk, seeing the pain in his eyes and knowing that he just wanted it all to end.

I loved both of my dogs very much and I am completely saddened that I've lost both of them. I'm also concerned for my mother. Thankfully, her fiancee has two dogs that live in the house with them so she's still able to keep busy with them. It's not the same though.

Ian's solution is to get me a dog. I've been wanting a dog for a really long time...even before Nemo and Teddy passed away. My mother's answer to that was that I could have a cat instead. Working at the pet store for a year kind of suppressed my feeling of wanting a dog because I got to spend the majority of my week playing with them, giving them treats, putting coats or boots on them during the winter.

I'd like to have a dog but I know our apartment doesn't allow it. I often wonder what would happen if I went and talked to the landlord about that, if we got a small dog would that be okay? I'd just like to have a dog to take for walks and play in the park with. And I always tell Ian that if we ever have children, I always want to have a dog in the house so the kids can pass those values onto their own children - that having a dog is such a wonderful experience. It's a lot of responsibility but it's also fun. There are so many shelters filled with dogs that need good homes and I just wish I could take all of them home and spoil them but I know that's not humanly possible.

The only problem I see is Flynn having an issue with a dog. Molly is used to it. I think that at one point she thought she was a dog herself. I remember when she was a kitten, she would pounce on top of Teddy and he'd just walk all over the house like "okay...there's this thing on me...and it has claws...and it's small..." Just accepting that Molly wanted someone to play with. Nemo was always afraid of her, because Nemo was scared of his own shadow but Teddy often indulged Molly's playful attitude.

I will miss my dog very much but I hope that if there's a heaven, that he's up there with my dad and my other dogs we've lost. And I also hope that some day, when it's time for me to go up there, they'll all be there waiting. Playing in endless fields of tall grass with my dad.

I put the coconut oil in my hair last night and used a lot more. Mostly by accident. It spilled over the palm of my hand when I was just trying to get a little out of the bottle. I have read that the henna makes your hair turn brown but that's okay with me. That won't stop me from using it as my hair is already kind of brown and black.

I may use it again tonight, just to see what the results are like tomorrow. Woke up with hair volumized like the other morning. I do notice that when I'm running my fingers through my hair, I can actually feel (and it hurts!) when I accidentally pull out a hair. In general though, I have a lot less hair fall than before I started this treatment. I'm hoping to see results within a month or two.