The weather here is becoming a little ridiculous for me. I do not do well in this heat. It's September 1st and the high for today is 95. No thanks. On the plus side, after tomorrow the weather is going to be great. Highs in the 70s. Maybe that means we can put the air conditioners away...somewhere. Our landlord claims that he's cleaning the basements so anything put in the open area down there has to be gone or they'll throw it out, assuming that it belongs to past tenants. So yesterday Ian and I moved a few of his plastic containers back up to the apartment and one of his glass cabinets that was the heaviest thing in the world.

I guess things are alright. All I really care about is if he's happy but I don't know where that leaves me. I'm happy but fear once again grabs a hold of me. I guess I worry if we will be happy tomorrow or the next day or how long it will be until we fight again. My problem is that I'm so used to chaos, that I constantly keep myself from being happy. Yesterday I was watching a slideshow I made for Ian in February and started to cry, just remembering all of the good moments we've had and how there have been so many times where either one or both of us almost threw it all away. I think that we're both to blame for not appreciating the other person enough. I have to appreciate the small things he does, because as small as they may be to me, they might be bigger for him. Eventually, I know he'll understand how much more of an effort he has to make and I think he'll slowly get there.

My mom keeps calling me all of the time. I don't know what she wants...she talks about things that I don't really need to hear over the phone. It can always wait till the weekend. I have Monday off and I'm looking forward to just sitting around the apartment, reading, maybe actually playing a video game and watching movies. This daily routine is beginning to get to me.